… At this point, you should hate me with so much devotion and I, now I have a horrible grief now.
It frustrates me, it condemns me not to achieve things with you with certain fluency, with certain qualities that I should behave innate, simplicity, sympathy, patience, you come closer by nature to them, your tenderness, sweetness and generosity nature, not too distant to perceive it, cus’ it’s your nature to find that sort of qualities while “you float like a feather in a beautiful world“, I would really want to be so discharged of all this complexity, this whole stupidity which i am made, without malice or some pretense.
At this point I feel that it transcends to my corrupt and permeable essence ‘cause it’s here where I regret to be in that way, so complex, so therapy. I assure you, i just didn’t imagine this way when i was a child, it’s my silly trauma. I want to accuse something or somebody and i only find a culprit once again and closely that guilty one is a perfect imbecile. Forgives, i’m sorry ‘bout my anger and my pride, anguish, hurry and concern ‘bout things that I do with people that i want and appreciate a lot, but I don’t know how to cover it, as a shield or as my passion or some infantile rage sequel, however I will always leave, being misinterpreted as it’s usual.
I don’t belong to many places and groups of those i have given to me an excluding task to myself, but I feel that I will never want to exclude myself of your affection, your love for me and in all the kindness in your way of being, the real magic that you have as an aura, where whatever you want to got, will be yours, it’s your angel.
Last time, i wrote something, seems like this for somebody wasn’t there, you, but you didn’t accept with the reception i was waiting for, but now I’m prepared against your indifference again, ‘cause when i let you know these things with this fiber, it doesn’t care and I already know it. I make myself to remember my own flaws, the damned illness that is to be me. You remind me my virtues, for that I love you so and it is my intention to demonstrate it even hating you.
At this point, I love you Natalia, if you need help and I want to help, So please you have my hands!